In this post, I will talk about the six major types of losses
Material*
relationship*
Intrapsychic
Functional
Role loss
Systemic
Relationship loss is the ending of opportunities to relate to oneself, talk with, share experiences with, be intimate with, touch, settle issues with, fight with, and otherwise be in the emotional and/or psychological presence of a particular human being. It is an unavoidable component of human life. It may be temporary or permanent. Death is generally the most intense form of relationship loss. ~Rev Curry
Most of the miracles Jesus performed in the New Testament were surrounded by relationships and relationships threatened by the loss of something. Jesus' miracles restored and delivered people's relationships by bringing people back to life, healing and restoring people back to health, renewing sight, casting out demons, social dignity, restoring faith, etc. The miracles He performed not only restored families and communities but illuminated the message and the purpose of the Kingdom of God and its King. Jesus uses loss, the unavoidable, the inevitable, and the impossible to demonstrate His power in any given circumstance or to introduce an attribute of his nature.
Nevertheless, relationship loss can be downright devastating, hurtful, disappointing, and painful, yet it could also be purposeful, cleaning, healing, needed, or necessary. Despite the nature of the loss our God and Creator of relationships and the hope of loss is the source of them both. God created relationships and He was the first to experience the death of one, Genesis 2:27. He was the first who desire to share His self, His image, and His likeness with humankind Genesis 1:26. We serve a relational God. So how could we possibly do relations of any kind without Him? How can we possibly grieve a loss without Him? Loss Hurts! Relationship loss, without a buffer, counsel, acceptance, peace, or support can be lonely or devastating.
Anticipated or Unanticipated Loss
In 1993 I anticipated having a baby boy. I had prepared for his coming like any mother or father waiting for their baby. I had clothes, a cradle, socks, blankets, things given and things brought. My room was becoming very cluttered and cozy with anticipation. My body prepared to give birth to who would have been my firstborn son. He and I form a bond, we shared the same space, ate the same food, and went everywhere together by default. My pregnancy was two weeks overdue when I had him. A bond is easily made between people however bonds when broken leave fragments, tares, holds, and cracks in the soul and heart.
As I was rushed to the hospital feeling uneasy and sick my baby had stopped moving. His heart had stopped. This was an unanticipated loss. The Bible says "hope deferred may the heart sick" and I was sick in ways I did not understand. I visited a space within grief I did not know existed. Questions flowed through my young mind, "what could I have done to avoid this loss" however what was unavoidable was the grief I was experiencing. In the midst of this, I was going through material loss. Everything I collected for him was gone by the time I got home.
Grief needs space, a healthy place, and a person to go through its process with. My place was outside of my room, where I stayed crying in the bed, my grandmother told me to stay out of my room, the space was time and understanding, and the person was my grandmother. She took one look at me and gave me instructions. She explained to me what I was going through and told me how to deal with it. Her instructions were particle and came from her own experience and wisdom. She did not spiritualize my pain. She dealt with me through wisdom and understanding. Wisdom sometimes meets issues from references from our own experiences. But my grandmother had the wisdom of life and the wisdom and understanding of God and through that came my deliverance. Furthermore, relationships are important to God, even the loss of relationships to the point that God "Gave His Only-begotten Son That Whosoever Believeth In Him Shall Not Perish but Have Everlasting life" John 3:16
"We were not meant to do life alone," (Marco, 2023)
Chaplain Kenya
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